The secret life of blogging – Insecurities and Hard Work

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Hello my little buttons!

This is a slightly different blog than I’d normally post, I’m not sure how well this will be received but I was recently inspired to write from the heart about something real, so here it goes. I write about skin care and makeup, what I like what I hate and what I genuinely think of products. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE reviewing and blogging but it’s not always a walk in the park. It requires you to try and test many many products, this involves wearing makeup…a lot of makeup! Making time every day to put my ‘face on’ while constantly checking the mirror for smudging, faded, makeup breaking down etc.

Then there’s the selfies and photos for my blog , this all involves time and looking at my face far more than I ever did before embarking on this bloggers journey. It also takes me ages to write my blogs, I’ll write it up in note form, then type it up, then reread and correct, reread and correct until I am 100% happy with how I’ve wordered everything and if I’ve gotten my point across.

Oh and I can’t forget the skin care aspect, if I have even 3 lazy days where I’m not on top of my cleanse tone and moisturise routine as well as serums and facemasks my skin texture starts to change and I get pimples which shows up in all the photos and makes me feel like crap! I never use skin smoothing apps or play with my photos too much. I might use the odd filter but I always state when I have, I don’t ever want anyone to be under the illusion that, how I look with a filter on, is real life. Because it’s not.

This nicely leads onto Instagram, oh Instagram how I love you, but how you can twist reality. There are so many stunning girls, and I mean stuuuunning, with perfect lighting and photoshop skills that could compete with the creators of Transformers or Jurassic World, that you see day in day out on your news feeds and no matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to look as perfect. In lots of ways I don’t want to look like that, it’s an unrealistic expectation that is not healthy to yearn for. Logically I know this. But there is, of course, that small part of me that thinks, wow I’d kill to look like that! As I’m heavily into the online beauty community it is something I see daily and have battled with as I’m sure we all have. I’m proud that I have stayed true to myself and that my biggest crime is the occasional cheeky flattering angle or a colour enhancing filter.

Everyone has insecurities about themselves and this blog has really led me to at least try to get over some of mine. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, nor would I WANT to be. Yes I’m over weight, I have a chubby face, as I’m getting older my eyes are a lot more hooded than they used to be, my nose is quite nobbley and I get hormonal breakouts across my chin. Despite all this, I can still look in the mirror and think, you look ok today, or even, you look good today. There has been positives I have realised about myself, I actually like my lips, I hadn’t really paid much attention to them before although I’m pleased to say I’m happy with them! Yes my eyes are starting to droop, but I have adapted my eyeshadow skills, put on my big girl pants and let it go. When I look after my skin I’m quite pleased with that as well, over all life is not that bad! It’s the comparisons we make on ourselves that makes it a whole lot harder. I am now at a stage I can appreciate a highly edited photo for its skill and over all effect but I understand it’s not real, it’s a beautiful illusion on reality and that is one important thing I have learnt.

For those of you that don’t know I have two children, an 8 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. As my daughter is getting older I am more and more aware that she is watching and learning womanhood through me. I want her to grow up to love herself inside and out and realise that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone is magical in their own way. How can I teach her this if I feel down about myself all the time? This is partly what pushed me to put myself out there online, I want her to see that even though im not perfect I’m proud of who I am and in my own way I am beautiful. I’m still not fully there yet, but day by day I feel better and more excepting of myself.

Blogging has been a big confidence booster for me, surprisingly I’ve not receive any hate what so ever through instagram or my blog. Everyone online and in the ‘real world’ has been so supportive and it turns out there are some people that really value my opinion, which to me is a huge compliment. So I guess I’m trying to say although blogging takes up a lot of time, thought, money, effort and occasional emotion trauma, it’s worth every second and is one of the best things I’ve ever been brave enough to do. This was a rather ranty emotional blog but I feel better for it and I hope that if there’s something you want to do in life, take the leap and go for it.

Becca xxx

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